Don't Heckle The Supervillain

There are pictures that go with this...I just haven't added them yet.

Let me tell you a story. It takes place about 21 years ago, 1985. At the time I was 9 years old and one of the very first movies I saw on our new VCR was The Karate Kid. There are moments, events which leave indelible marks on our minds and our hearts. While we hate to admit it, something as simple as a movie can define our perception of people we have never met, places we have never been and things we have never seen nor experienced. For me, at the age of 9, The Karate Kid formed my visions on a great many aspects of life in Southern California. From what the people were like, what the geography looked like and even what to do on a date (I’m sure many a girl I’ve dated will attest, regrettably, to the times I’ve taken them mini-golfing). The Karate Kid set the picture of this culture in my mind’s eye.

On November 5th I turned thirty years old. And while it may seem odd, I was depressed about turning thirty as it is widely considered to be the end of youth and the beginning of the slow march into middle age. It may seem silly but I truly felt as if I was losing a piece of myself, that my childhood was finally dying. And where should I find myself on the weekend of my thirtieth birthday but in Los Angeles, California visiting a woman who has, for quite some time, held a unique and special place in my heart. This woman, this wonderful woman gave me a gift I will always treasure no matter what future years may bring.

Now, before I get to the rest of the story, the gift given and all it entails I would like to tell you a little about the woman who spawned the whole affair with her ingenuity and what cannot be a small amount of love and warmth. My girlfriend Nikki. Yes, Nick and Nikki, get over it. Let me first say this: I love her. I love her dearly. Not just for the events contained within this recent story but for many, many other reasons. Like any couple we’ve had our ups and downs, ours exacerbated by the continental distance which we must span to reach each other. But I’ve never felt for another the way I do for her. Only once before have I even entertained the notion of taking a relationship as far as I have thought of doing with Nikki. She makes me a better person and a better man. I love her. Simple as that.

So to begin: I received a mysterious telephone call but I’ll get to that later, as it would only slow you down dear reader. The night prior to my departure to Los Angeles I received several curious e-mails which required me to choose my own adventure.

Ok, Nico!

Your adventure starts when you touch down in the land of milk and honey silicon and botox and fall into my arms. (which are neither silicon nor botoxed)

This will be a weekend where you will take us on various adventures based on your wants and needs and whimsey (love that word!).

First up - Friday Night Lights –

Well, not really. It's just so 'in' right now.

It's Friday night and we are wandering the streets of Hollywood - past the bright lights of the latest movie premier at the Mann's Chinese, past the brightly lit hooker on the corner of Hollywood and Vine, past the tattoo shop and Frederick's of Hollywood. I'm wondering what we're going to do next - what you're in the mood for (no, not that! Not yet at least)

For comic relief and a taste of old hollywood respond to this email with I'M READY FOR MY CLOSE-UP in the subject line

For a chilling staged adventure, put WAITING TO BE DISCOVERED in the subject line

I chose “WAITING TO BE DISCOVERED” as I am, famously, a man of action.

Within minutes I received yet another curious e-mail:

Ahh, a chilling staged adventure it is.

Lions and tigers and bears - oh my! Our journey takes us down a dark and twisty side street just to the left of Hollywood and Highland where there are four doors.

Above each door is a placard....

1. Lancelot: Presiding over moving corpses

2. My dad's brother drinks blood

3. Man, this sonar shit is really cool

4. Get your very own lunar-motivated super-puppy here!

You are oddly intrigued by the intriguing oddness of these four doors. A choice must be made.

Where do we go?

My choice was “3. Man, this sonar shit is really cool” After this, no more e-mails came, part of my birthday adventure had been cast. I went home, packed and went to bed.

My flight was an early one, 8am. I got up at 5:30am intending to be well on time. The flight, I believed, left from Reagan National very close to my work, I had intended to print out some materials for a little romantic reminder intended to be secreted in Nikki’s apartment when I decided to print out my itinerary as well. It was when I did this that I realized my plane wasn’t leaving from National but from Baltimore-Washington instead. It was 6:30am. I had an hour to make it to BWI through morning rush hour traffic in Washington, DC. To say that my lack of preparedness hit me in the face like a cold bucket of water is an understatement. I called a friend who was quite annoyed at the early wake-up call and broke every reasonable speed and traffic law to reach the airport, which I did, on time.

The flight to L.A. was paused only by a brief layover in Denver and I was able to arrange an earlier flight into the city of angels. Unbeknownst to me this threw off the efforts of my host by some small measure but when I arrived she was there waiting, dressed in a skirt (this was for my benefit as she looks quite stunning in them) and looking beautiful as always. We drove back to her new apartment via a route that I had not yet seen ? and here, kind reader, you must lose the story for a few hours. Later that evening we drove to Hollywood and attended “Bat Boy: The Musical”.

The show was in a small theater with a troupe which, you could tell, was very committed to the show. The actors threw everything they had into their respective roles. It wasn’t a huge Broadway production but not everything has to be either. This was local theater and this is where people begin to learn their craft. Funny things that happened along the way, the music for the show was provided by a guy on a keyboard with another guitarist backing him up. Pre-show music was videogame themes: Mario Bros., Zelda, Castlevania. Nikki actually recognized it as well, greatly impressing me. But I have found in the last few weeks, both before and after my birthday, that this woman I love has done a masterful job of hiding her nerdiness from me. The show was loud and fun and funny. I couldn’t help looking over at Nikki during it, while I was laughing she was laughing and her smile and joy made it all so much more. Show concluded we both were hungry and headed out in search of food…

Did you know Bob’s Big Boy started in Los Angeles? I didn’t. I also didn’t know that the move HEAT was shot there but it was! It also turns out that this is where we ate our late night dinner. When we pulled in there were some really cool looking cars in the parking lot, apparently Friday nights a local oldies station plays live from the Big Boy and the local car aficionados bring out their toys. New and old alike some really nice cars were in the parking lot. Honestly, it felt a little like American Graffiti. After a really great meal we went home. A great first night in L.A.

The next morning came far too early but I was informed that we “Had to get up!” My entire life I’ve been a fan of movies and movie making. The sheer tonnage of useless trivia that occupies my brain about movies and movie related things makes most people, especially my mother, cringe. What better place to go in L.A. than Universal Studios? Let me tell you this place was a blast. The first thing we did was head over to the studio lot tour. I recommend this strategy to anyone heading to the park. It was such a great time, getting to see the studios where some of my favorite movies have been made (Serenity filmed at stage 12 thank you very much, also got to see the hover vehicle from the movie as well in the stunt cars area). You go through other silly stuff too, like the Jaws moment and the mummy tunnel (actually used in an episode of the million dollar man) but you see really neat historical stuff too. The bungalow used by Alfred Hitchcock, one of the largest outdoor water/sky sets (used in The Truman Show) and so many backstage sets used in countless movies through-out the years (Gilmore Girls on the European set recently, the new Spiderman 3 on the NY set). From there we went on to ride the rides and see the sights. Back to the Future (shorter than the one in FL), Shrek, Terminator 2, Jurassic Park, the Waterworld stunt show (movie is awful but the show was quite funny) and the stage animal show (actually saw Duke of baked bean fame and the female Dalmatian from 102 Dalmatians). With the park closing we moved to the City Walk where Nikki’s sister Chrissy and her boyfriend Spencer were meeting us for dinner.

Also, let me just say that the security at the City Walk is pretty damn good. If you were to say, go to the top of a parking structure to look at the Warner Brothers studio and kiss a little bit, a security guard might ride by on a bike and holler “Back to the City Walk please!” in a very polite but firm tone. Just a hypothetical example.

We met up with Chrissy and Spencer at Bubba Gump’s Shrimp Company for dinner and the evening ended with one of the most enjoyable conversations I’ve had in a long time. A lot of stories and laughter. It was fun watching Nikki talk to her sister, sharing things that sisters share. We all went back to Nikki’s apartment where everyone sort of crashed. It was a busy day for everyone but a great way to end the night.

At the beginning of this entry I talked about The Karate Kid. Since I saw it, the movie has stereotyped the California experience for me. The theme was pretty common to a lot of 80’s movies and you can see it spoofed in today’s popular culture, so pervasive was the theme. Fish-out-of-water kid fights against the popular set to win respect and the girl. But it wasn’t just the attitudes but the locations that stuck in my mind. The beach backdrops, the schools, the kids all having dirt bikes or cars, the girls all blonde, the guys all in-shape (disheartening for a pudgy kid). And everyone went to cool karate classes (something I wanted to do – just like Daniel). For a kid who’d never been to the West Coast (and please don’t mistake me, I grew up in Wisconsin yes, but by the time I was 10 I’d been to at least 30 states in the union including Hawaii, Jamaica and Canada, I’d been around) it was the definition of that culture. I had expressed this to Nikki.

This woman, this wonderful woman Nikki. She knew I dreaded turning 30, she knew I was feeling old. She wanted to help me feel the joys of my youth again. She found a web site detailing the movie locations for The Karate Kid. It turns out most of them were in and around the Los Angeles area. Sunday morning we woke up and started a little adventure which helped me recapture a little of my youth…

The first order of the day was food. On my first visit to see Nikki in CA we ate at this wonderful restaurant. I’ve commented several times on how great the food was and how we should go back. Well, it turns out they do an awesome brunch. Great food with a great tex-mex twist. It’s so funny, you see bikers there and you see high class types as well. The customers are just as great a mix as the food. There was a live mariachi band. The day started with a bang! (as an aside I do have to note that our hostess made me laugh, this girl was dressed, it seemed, more for a night out than a job. I think more than anything, the Jackie Onassis glasses and “I’m too good for this.” Attitude made me laugh most.)

From our brunch we headed to the South Seas! That’s right ladies and gents, the tropical paradise that served as Daniel’s home and Mr. Miyagi’s workshop. The nice little wooden gate at the front is gone, replaced by a rather intimidating steel structure, the fence over which Daniel throws his bike after getting roughed up by the Cobra Kais is over grown with trees. But it’s clearly the place. And it’s so cool! According to the website, Mr. Miyagi’s shop was actually a couple of the parking spaces boarded up to look like a workshop…movie magic folks! After watching the movie when I got back to D.C. it’s interesting to me how much you can cover up with the right camera work. There’s strip mall right next to the place and the street isn’t nearly as lush. In fact, if you weren’t looking you’d pass right by it! I have to tell you though, just seeing the place gave me goose-bumps. It was a piece of my childhood memory come to life. Like it had popped out of my memory and into existence. Just seeing the place made me smile and laugh.

From the South Seas we headed to the school, Charles Evan Hughes Junior High School, the very school used in The Karate Kid. Yes, that’s me standing by the plaque you can see in the movie (screenshot on the web-site). How awesome is that?!?! It seemed as if we were shut out but Nikki persuaded me to look around and we managed to find a way into the interior of the school. On a funny side note, Miss California it seems has been playing in a softball league at this very school for YEARS and never recognized it. I’m telling you, the folly of youth, they don’t appreciate classic 80’s cinema! Anyway, we got inside and poked around. I wished I’d know this was coming, we could have figured out which hallways etc. Daniel and Allie had walked down. But I know with certainty that I saw the courtyard where he tries to get the Kais to have to listen to a history lecture and it backfires. The school’s not used much anymore and it’s a real shame!

This was getting pretty late in the day and we had to drive to the coast for one of the most impressive locations. We went to the actual beach used in the film. Leo Carillo State Beach (check it out on the site). This is where they filmed the famous “Crane Technique” scene as well as the bonfire on the beach. We walked right through the bonfire area and up to the lifeguard hut seen in the film. It made for an awe-inspiring view.

Before I came out Nikki asked me what I wanted to do on my birthday. Honestly, I was so lost at the time I couldn’t think of anything. At that moment I was too overwhelmed with the notion of turning 30, friends’ problems, my own personal problems. Emotionally, I was numb. Then I woke up one morning, in a dream I had been sitting with her on a beach watching the sun set, I told her. Well, she took it to heart.

So as the sun set on my 30th birthday, I found myself sitting with the woman I love on a beach that was burned into my childhood memories. So there we were, the two of us, sitting, watching the sun set, my arms around her, the wind whipping around us. This beautiful vast scene, right out of memory. I almost cried then as the sun drifted down, Nikki in my arms. And I admit without shame that I tear up now thinking about that moment. It was, and is, perfection. I will forever hold it in my heart. When I pass, should I pass (I won’t concede that yet), it will be the last image I keep in my mind. It is a moment of love, companionship, joy and warmth. Images like this one sustain us when we are weak, afraid or lonely. They remind us of what we have in this world, what we share with another, the power of love and the meaning of joy. I love you Nikki. I will love you forever for this moment. This was the best gift anyone has ever given me.

After that moment, I felt whole. Cleansed. I felt an energy despite the busy days and not much sleep. I felt like a kid again. So it’s a good thing we headed over to Golf ‘n Stuff. Yes, THE Golf ‘n Stuff. The one where Daniel and Allie go on their first date, the one where Daniel finds Allie when he apologizes to her. And it’s possibly the coolest place in Norwalk, CA. As we pulled in the memories of the movie washed over me like a summer’s breeze. I could hear the soundtrack to the movie playing in my head. Sadly, the waterslide is gone. But man the golf course is FUN! Nikki managed to beat me, I’m certain cheating was involved. And needless to say don’t make last minute bets with Nikki on the 18th hole, because if it’s something she wants she gets pretty aggressive. Going down on that hole really cost me in the end but it was all fun and games! The arcade, by the way, looks the same. Yeah, new games and all but it’s still a ton of fun. I intend to go back anytime I can, I need to avenge my loss! I swear Golf ‘n Stuff is awesome. You need to go if you’re in the area.

When our fun and games were over we wandered around and eventually got a hotel room in Sherman Oaks. We grabbed some In and Out (it’s a restaurant I SWEAR!). And called it a night.

The next day I had to leave. So after a late breakfast we headed back to Nikki’s apartment. Along the way we stopped at one of the locations for the Cobra Kai academy. After seeing the movie again I can say this was the place. It’s out of use now, whatever martial arts academy was there is gone now. It looks like it’s about to be remodeled so we may not see it in this way ever again. I’m glad I got to see it!

Nikki’s final surprise was a stop at Philippe’s just outside of L.A.’s Chinatown. We had seen a foodtv special on famous diners when Nikki was visiting DC. It’s the home of the French Dip (no, not Gerard Depardieu) This place was on the list and I mentioned to Nikki we should go there sometime. Well, she found the place and took me. Great food. Really great food. It’s famous for a reason people.

So let me put it to you this way: What kind of woman does all this for her man? Nikki, you’re a piece of my heart. I cannot believe how much effort you put into this weekend. I cannot thank you enough. You not only showed me the deepest love but you gave me back a part of myself I’d been missing. You made me whole in so many ways.

Thank you Strawberry!

I love you Nikki.

That is all.