Don't Heckle The Supervillain

Random quote from a friend

"Yeah, this guy's not too bright. The only university he's been around is one he's building."

Brian "Beaner" Benwitz

Speaking in reference to his sister's boyfriend.

Soooo Tiiiiiirrred

Red Wizard Needs Sleep Badly!

Blade II Review

I highly recommend this movie. Some critics have piled on decrying its violence, others it's plot. They just don't seem to realize that this movie is eye candy. It's for those of us raised on comic books and video games. Intense visual stimuli with a great pounding soundtrack. We don't go to this type of movie for an overly elablorate plot filled with a balanced, even perspective on life. We go to it so that we can immerse ourselves in a world of impossible feats, amazing sights and constant action. Blade II delivers on all counts, it is just as entertaining as it's precursor, perhaps even more so.

Roger Ebert agrees, but probably for different reasons, giving it 3 1/2 stars.

Time for another installment of Good Idea/Bad Idea a.k.a. What the hell were you thinking!?!?

Good Idea: Going to see a movie with your spouse.

Bad Idea: Bringing your 14 month old child to a movie that has loud music and a large amount of blood & gore.

I went to see Blade II tonight. A couple brought there infant with them, not their kid, their infant daughter. She couldn't have been more than 14 months old. And while I don't think movie theaters are the right place for children anyway, I think it's an incredibly bad idea to bring your infant and/or child to a movie rated R for graphic blood, gore and violence. The poor kid whailed through the entire movie, the parents had to keep getting up to take the kid outside to calm it down and then promptly brought her back in! What the hell were these people thinking? Not only did they traumatize their kid but they ruined the movie for those sitting around them too! The film is rated R for a damn reason! But these people are just too damn selfish to think about that, no they just wanted to see the movie. Well guess what? Having a kid is hard work, it means you have to sacrifice, it means you can't be selfish anymore. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame the child. It's not her fault that her parents are self-absorbed asses. I feel badly for her. When we're young our bodies are raw. As we get older our minds aclimate to our world, we can filter out certain stimuli. A loud siren no longer frightens or disturbs us, we learn to live with a certain amount of background noise. The child was unaccustomed to the loud noise, percussion and flashing lights, her fright was understandable. I cannot excuse her parents' conduct however, these are the people that make you wish that you had to pass a test to become a parent.

To my homies on the Coast

Guys, the Chicago anime convention AnimeCentral is taking place April 19th through the 21st at the Hyatt Regency O'Hare in Rosemont, IL. Cost is $45 at the door. Hope you guys will make the road trip and BRING THE FURY!

All Women Are Friggin' NUTS!

Simple, elegant, honest...

Need I say more?

Swing and a Miss...

There's an old saying that "Those who ignore history's mistakes are bound to repeat them." Well, guess what? It's not just HISTORY they're talking about, it's also personal history. What's more you don't have to ignore history to repeat it's mistakes. Specifically, mistakes where women are concerned. I've gotten involved with an old friend but the thing is she's still involved with another gentleman. And yet we've been having this little internet/telephone affair. As usual with most of the women I get involved with, the guy she's dating treats her pretty badly. I seem to attract that type, I don't go after them believe me; too much trouble. So I did something sweet for her, which had the effect opposite what one might think. Fortunately, the total damage was only $23.42 but as I said before, it's just a little bit of history repeating. My going out of my way to spend money on a girl who doesn't appreciate it. My friends used to call it my PPD factor. PPD = Play Per Dollar. Roughly it was an equation that figured out how much action I got per dollar I spent on the girl. My ex-girlfriend being an extreemly fridgid woman, I'm talking Antarctica cold here, my PPD was pretty low. My friends and I even joked that it might actually be a negative number (which isn't far from the truth). Sabrina, my ex, was so insecure in her body and her sexuality that she feared most physical intimacy. This new flame/old friend of mine, Tina, doesn't have those problems but this "boyfriend" situation has caused a similar difficulty and even though the cirumstances are different, the territory feels ALL TOO FAMILIAR.

Road Ragin'

You should check your road rage score.

Let's just say I did really well and leave it at that...Homer, this one is for you.

All is right again...

My friends, after a disturbing LACK of online-ness, are back. God knows what they were ever doing OFF line. Probably out in the "real" world, doing stuff. The insolence, actually LIVING.

But they're back now and my internet security blanket is tattered but still in good shape.

LOL

Smallville tonight, Jonathan Kent was driving, listening to "THEME FROM THE DUKES OF HAZZARD!" As you know J. Kent is played by John Schneider, formerly Bo Duke. SO FUNNY!

It's quiet...too quiet...

Alright, I'm willing to admit I'm one fairly over-reactive, paranoid guy...but this is getting down right freaky.

No one I know has been online for about a week, solid. I'm scared...it's time to curl up in my protective blanket of fear.

Homer, Fil, if you guys are out there, drop me a note...Daddy forgives all.

No respect

I might as well be deaf/mute for all the good I've been doing lately.

No one listens to me, no one hears me. It's very frustrating.

My friends from the coast pay no attention to the e-mails I send, nor do my friends here in the midwest. It's very, very frustrating.

Times like this even a nice "GO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE!" would be appreciated. At least it would be a response. All I get is silence...

*tumbleweed rustling*

Flash, don't heckle the supervillian.

Perhaps the funniest thing I've heard this week. It came from Cartoon Network's "The Justice League", the episode was "The Brave and the Bold, pt 2" Now that's good stuff.

I'd really like to like the new Justice League cartoon. It's the latest in the continuing line of Warner Brothers revivals of the D.C. comics universe.

But here's the thing, and you really can't get around it, it sucks. My biggest gripe is this...WONDER WOMAN CAN'T FLY! They have her winging around like she's friggin Hawk Girl, who is also on the show. And the Green Lantern is this real hawk, not to mention he's black. They're totally re-writing the histories of all these characters, and I wouldn't mind so much if it all weren't such a blatant ploy to appear POLITICALLY CORRECT. In an effort to make sure that every race, gender and ethnicity is portrayed with respect and dignity they've completely washed away the already established histories of these icons.

I admit, I'm very sensitive about comics and cartoons. These stories are our myths and legends. They represent the history and culture of America. You may say, well if they're flawed, if they expose our history as possibly sexist and racist shouldn't we do all we can to correct that? No, because that's not being honest. I'm not saying we should promote these things as what is "right", we should not. I believe we are all created equal and that we deserve equal treatment under the law. Our heros today should stand for that but let's not paint over the past and pretend it didn't exist. These heros are our culture. They represent the American equivilent of the Greek and Roman myths, Middle European fairytales and Eastern legends. Our Superman, Batman, Flash, Green Lantern and the rest of our comic book heros and heroines are modern equivelents of the tales of Robin Hood, King Arthur, Arabian Nights and all the other wonderful tales of the old worlds. But these are OURS, our American tales. And they suffer enough revision as it is, don't even get me started on the change in Superman's uniform or Robin's death...

Ever feel like the last man on earth?

Right now I very much do. No one I know is online. NO ONE. Or at least not signed in. I honestly hate Sunday evenings. Nothing ever seems to get accomplished. It's as if the entire world is collectively pissed that tomorrow is Monday.

Not that I can blame the world for that particular feeling.

More later in the week.

Hey Homer and Fil, we should try this!

Set up your own FTP server

And Ross, you and I should try this too.

Time for "You have to know the guy for this to be funny" Theater...

Recently I e-mailed my friend Neal Anderson regarding a rebate which makes the Microsoft Sidewinder Strategic Commander nearly free.

He sent me back the following e-mail reply (the text relevant to this discussion is in bold)...

-g

thanks for the head's up. that fucking comp-troller will increase
my nerdliness by a factor of four. kick ass.

haven't heard from you in a while...is everything ok?

sean and i are taking a road trip to vegas, starting on
saturday. good times will be had by all.

which pictures did you mean specifically?

did you ever call mary?

-=n

Now if you know Neal this note, particularly the bolded portion, is hilarious. Why? You ask. Simply put, because Neal Anderson is the most difficult person to reach on the planet. Salmon Rushdie and Osama Bin Laden have nothing on this kid. He doesn't return e-mail, instant messages or phone calls. Further, only on rare occasions does he write e-mail and instant messages or actually make a phone call. Neal is so good at disappearing that his own mother hasn't seen him in four years and the only photos we actually have of him are computer age enhancements of his 4th grade class picture. Neal Anderson could be an assassin for the U.S. Government, if only THEY could find him. Neal is so difficult to track down that the Mossad, an organization known for being able to track down former Nazis some 40 years after VE day, won't even give it a try.

In this light, Neal asking why he hasn't heard from me is perhaps the funniest joke ever made on this planet we call earth.

Where are they?

How come I can never meet girls like the ones I see on those TV ads for girls gone wild?

Where are they? How can I meet them? I want to meet one of these girls gone wild!

I'd almost believe that they didn't exist except that I've seen this happen when I went to Key West.

Unfortunately, my father was with me at the time. Believe me, you never want to see your 60 year old father looking at 20 year old girls taking their tops off. It ruins the entire experience for you. And don't even get me started on strip clubs and lap dances...

I didn't write this...

Believe it or not a friend of mine's mother sent this to me:

Top Ten things you should never say to a woman during an argument:

10. "Don't you have some laundry to do or something?"

9. "Ohh, you are so cute when you get all pissed off."

8. "You're just upset because your ass is beginning to spread."

7. "Wait a minute...I get it -- what time of the month is it?"

6. "You sure you don't want to consult the Great Oprah on this
one?"

5. "Sorry. I was just picturing you naked."

4. "Whoa, time out honey. Football is on."

3. "Looks like someone had an extra bowl of Bitch Flakes this
morning."

2. "Is there any way we can do this via e-mail?"

AND THE NUMBER ONE THING YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A WOMAN DURING AN
ARGUMENT....

1. "Who are you kidding? We both know that thing ain't loaded."

Ah Childhood



Isn't this cool? You can get one here.

But as I said to a friend...I can't watch the dukes or even knight rider anymore, I understand the plots now you see... So I choose to preserve my childhood memories by not watching them now that I know better.

The joys of the relationship

An old friend recently re-established contact with me. A girl I knew in H.S. by the name of Tina. She was from Appleton, WI, which is about 2 hours away from my hometown of Wausau. We met in a program called Youth in Government and hit it off immediately. Unfortunately, the distance and the age resulted in our maintaining a friendship rather than a full on relationship. We always joke that "some day" it'll happen.

Now I haven't seen or heard from Tina in 2 years. She moved around a lot and through the usual bumps and shakes of life we lost touch. It happens to us all at one point or another. Lucky for me that she was able to find my former D.C. address and send a letter. Thus the forwarded letter arrived in my lap here in Chicago and we were once again re-united.

We spoke last night for the first time in the afor mentioned 2 years. For 4 hours we reminiced, discussed our current situation, flirted and laughed. I swear it was as if we'd never been out of touch. We clicked again, or rather found that the click was still there.

And although she's currently dating someone, a very nice gentleman by the name of Jason, it was nice to feel that click with a woman. Naturally, nothing will come of it right now, probably never would any way but that's not the point.

The point is that even when I'm certain that I would not like a girlfriend at this point in my life I'm reminded of the best parts of having one. Obviously there are two important componants to a relationship, the physical and the emotional. Personally, I believe they should be in equal parts, most men do. But skipping past the physical right now, it's the emotional that my conversation with Tina reminded me of most powerfully. How someone can engender your desire or attraction through their words and thoughts. The way that someone's sigh or laugh makes wrapping your arms around them a neccessity. Quiet moments spent together on cold nights, saying nothing but meaning more than words could ever express making your love deepen and grow. These are the things I miss about being in a relationship. Well, that and the sex.

Thank the maker...

Sister...gone, apartment...a mess, sound of silence...priceless.

Also, on my list of top ten things not to do at 4am...eat pizza. Whoa, what a stomach ache.

All for now. I'll be discussing more interesting things later this week.

No job and no money make Nick go something, something...Mad? Don't mind if I do!

I want to buy something very expensive, very shiney and very techy! And I can't! NO JOB!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone please HIRE me!

She's heeeeerrrreeee!

Well, my sister is here. Fortunately she came with gifts. My mother sent six, count'em, six loaves of bread. Ok, I requested bread but six loaves? I have enough bread to start a deli, ironically I have no sandwich meat. What a world.

Today is definately NOT a Jimmy Buffett day

Holy frickin' cold snap Batman! Sixty one degrees (F) yesterday, now twenty eight degrees (F) and light snow!

Time to put on some music that will keep you warm, oh yeah, you know what I'm saying, it's time for some Barry White.

Take your own advice from time to time

I did. I put on some Jimmy Buffett on this afternoon while I cleaned the ole' apartment.

See, my sister is coming into town this weekend. She has an interview at a school to which she applied. So, naturally, I'm putting her up for the weekend. Yea. That was sarcasm.

The point I'm getting at here centers around the fact that I'm feeling considerably better than I was before because I put on Buffett.

Moral: take your own advice from time to time. You're smarter than you give yourself credit.

Balmy

It's 61 degrees (F). And with the rain last night, a little humid. It feels like a cool evening in Florida. The air seems to be sticking to your skin a little. It's a perfect time to put on some Jimmy Buffett.

I'm not usually a big fan of hot weather, but I love those moments in Florida. Those balmy evenings. One of the best time and places to be alive.

So it's nice to have a bit of that here in Chicago.

Quiet moments of simple beauty

Last night around 4am the quiet slap of rain sounded against the windows of my apartment. Around 4:18am the heavens opened up, pouring heavily on to the earth. Then it was over and gone. It continued to rain on and off for the next few hours, even a little thunder and lightning.

I can't help but think that if I had been in bed, asleep, I would have missed it all.

Sure rainstorms are pretty common and lots of people have probably enjoyed the same moment as I during the day I know. A passing moment, sweeping by, missed by many but I caught it this morning. I feel more than a little lucky. And tired.

Odd hours, while taxing on a person in so many ways, sometimes offer up small treasures to those who keep them.

Another round of blame Homer

Amazingly Accurate Love Test

Try it, it's shockingly accurate.

Things that I really like...

This is just a recent list of observations, I probably always liked them in the past but in my experiences today I took special note of them again.

1. Girls who wear that strappy underwear that you can see when they wear jeans that are overlarge. Prime example, Gwen Stefani in "Let Me Blow Ya Mind".

2. Technology! Don't you just LOVE it! It's the greatest thing ever!

3. Punk rockers Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies

4. Ricardo Montabon KHAAAAAAANNNNN!!!!

More than a little disgusting...

Ever been flossing and remove a disturbingly large chunk of food that you didn't know was there? I mean a large chunk of food. Pretty gross huh kids? I thought so too.

Uck.

Too damn funny!

Big thanks to my friend Ross for pointing these out, read them if you need to laugh hard!

Read this first

Read this second

The moral of the story is...

Lie long enough about anything and people will forgive you when you finally admit the truth, no matter how guilty you are in the first place.

Get ready for war...

I hate to sound like a pessimist, really I do. But I'm afraid that within my lifetime there's going to be another great war.

And it's going to start in the Middle East.

The area is inherently unstable and always has been. The most peaceful time the area seemed to be under British colonial rule and even then it wasn't that stable. Perhaps the people in that area are incapable of self-rule and need an authoritarian third party to establish social controls for them. They certainly seem incapable of creating long lasting structures by themselves. It's a brutal and barbaric area, which is not to cast aspersions on the inhabitants of these countries but rather to suggest that our environment plays a great role in our behavior. If you live in a place where day to day life labors under constant threat of danger or death we, as humans, adapt to survive in those conditions. Little Hobbesian theory here but if you live in perpetual fear for your life and property you will do what you must to ensure your own continued survival.

Specifically the Israelis and the Palestinians. We in the Western world like to convince ourselves, in our liberal tradition, that all arguments can be solved, a resolution can always be reached and all differences can be fixed if we are willing to compromise. This theory results from the movement of our society from Patriarchy to Matriarchy. We've been duped into believing that women are the more civil members of society, the more mature and rational members of society, hence we move our society towards being, what we perceive as, more enlightened and intelligent. And it's a bunch of bull. This matter does not revolve around maturity or civility; it revolves around long and deeply held beliefs in things that cannot be proven and no longer matter. Both sides lack a desire to compromise, both sides wish to see the other destroyed. Human nature at work, survival above all, kill those who threaten your survival. Hobbes suggested that men (people) would band together to alleviate this threat, to remove it from their lives. Well, these groups factionalized and one would think that in theory they would bond together to remove the same threat they found in nature that they find in their societies. Unfortunately, long histories of conflict and bitter resentment block that with both sides either unwilling or unable to put the past to bed.

Hence our current global situation. Like I said, I'm not a pessimist, I'd like to believe that these two sides can work it out but there's a lot more evidence that they won't set their differences aside than there are movements toward reconciliation in the history books.

That's why I'm afraid we're going to see another great war in our time. Not a Vietnam, a Gulf War, even a Korea but something much, much worse. We will be drawn into it in defense of Israel. It will happen when those Middle Eastern nations are no longer concerned with our retribution, when they no longer care for our aid and are finally incensed enough at our place in the world community that instead of backing down they will choose to oppose the U.S. and it's allies. It will be East vs. West all over again. Arab nations will show the unity that they have maintained for a thousand years (there is an old Arab saying: "Me and my brother against my cousin, me and my cousin against the world", that little gem should give significant perspective on their cultural mindset re: compromise) and the Western nations will, hopefully, meet the challenge to defend it's own morality and way of life against a much less forgiving culture. I fear it will be a terrible battle with great costs and an enemy who's fanaticism, bred from a long suffering in difficult conditions, and a faith, belief that they should be the world leaders, will result in no negotiated peace but a peace only fashioned and maintained by an occupation resembling colonial times once again. And that solution will bring no joy to those who occupy or those who live under it.

Monthly Defrag & Scan Disk

I know you feel my pain. Ah, 12 hours, 7 minutes...

But now I'm back baby!

Another funny "What are you?" quiz...

	I am a Fozzie! Wokka Wokka! You love to make lame jokes. Your sense of humor might be a bit off, but you're a great friend and can always be counted on..
Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz!

Blame my friend Homer for these types of things, he finds them. I blame him for a lot more than these quizzes but that's more of a personal issue.

BTW: This picture of Fozzie seems to be from The Muppet Movie and has a great line where Fozzie says "Ah, a bear in his natural habitat, a Studebaker." I know because I used to have it as my e-mail signature...hey, maybe there's something to these quizzes after all.

Hate Pop up ads? Me too...

This helps...download Analog X's Pow

Also useful is the Nutshell Toolbar

I suggest daily visits to TechTV as well.

There is snow EVERYWHERE!

There is really, but that's Chicago for you.

I'm working on some kind of commentary. I'll get to it, eventually.